New economic stimulus plan

(Dateline: Washington, DC) In a move designed to provide an immediate economic injection into our ailing economy, the Department of the Treasury has announced that they will be moving Christmas up to November 3rd this year.

“We feel this is just what’s needed,” explained Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. “By moving the date up by over a month and a half, we accelerate consumer spending on gifts. The earlier receipt by workers of their Christmas bonuses will also do much to bouy consumer confidence and the economy as a whole. And, of course, the overnight imports from the North Pole will do much to improve our trade balance.”

Paulson went on to explain that a similar shift would not be applied to Hannukah “because none of us could agree when it was originally scheduled for.” Instead, that celebration will be enhanced to fifteen days from its traditional eight, increasing the sales not only of gifts, but of candles, not to mention menorahs designed to the new government standard.

Published in: on October 10, 2008 at 3:26 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Oddly enough, during the Great Depression, Thanksgiving was once moved so as to create more shopping days between that holiday in Christmas.

    I was recently listening to some Jack Benny radio shows from October and November 1939 which included jokes regarding the date of Thanksgiving being uncertain. I didn’t understand the big audience reaction, so Googled “Thanksgiving 1939.” In one of those instances which remind me that the Internet is really an amazing resource, the answer turned up immediately:

  2. Cool link; I’d actually run into some references to the relocation of Thanksgiving, but you’ve added richly to my understanding.

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