Evidently not

“Why the hell would she defend that case?” asks Dana Delaney’s medical examiner character in the pilot of her new series Body of Evidence, speaking about a lawyer who had once been attacked by a dog but was defending someone whose dog had attacked someone. That was the end-of-act cliffhanger statement. And there I am yelling at the screen “because she’s a lawyer! That’s what lawyers do, take cases to represent people, even for things that they may not support. But that’s the level of stupid this new series depends on.

Back when I was in the (non-improv) comedy troupe Doorways To Lint, we used to make a point of establishing the vital details right off; we didn’t have sets to work with, but sitting in a chair, holding an imaginary steering wheel, a troupe member would say “boy, I’m a pilot!”, and things would be established. But then, we wanted to be in and out of that sketch in five minutes. Body of Evidence intends to be a series that will run for years, hundreds of hours, and yet they feel that in the first hour they not only have to impress you that the lead character is driven ex-surgeon with some dark demons in her past, a traffic accident, a failed marriage, a distant daughter, and so forth, but they have to explain each and every one of those, so there’s no risk of, you know, discovering the character as you go. There is no space for subtlety here, no nuance, it’s a blatant damaged-acerbic-genius show – something we’ve seen many times since the rise of House, but never that well and only rarely successful (The Mentalist being the only one that comes to mind.) So luckily I will not have to be worrying about whether to tape this or Parenthood in the near future; one time through this is enough for me.

Edited to note: somehow, I missed that over the year since this show was first announced, its title switched from Body of Evidence to Body of Proof.

Published in: on March 30, 2011 at 7:55 pm  Leave a Comment  

None of your suspect beehives

What do you get when you take Forest Whitaker with his subtle dark intelligence, and mix it with Janeane Garofalo with her sardonic wit?

Well, if the place you’re putting the together in is Criminal Intent: Suspect Behavior, you get them (and various less-known cast members) endlessly trying to out-serious each other, through obvious dialog, all in a dark color palette. This is, after all, yet another procedural extension show.

These shows manage to get very talented people, and I can understand the appeal of steady work in a regular locale… but there is so much talent there being left unused that it’s sad. It just seems wasteful.

There wasn’t much likelihood that I’d be embracing a spin-off of the most pointlessly dark and ugly procedural running, but with that cast, I had to watch it. Once. I shan’t have to again, and I will exercise that freedom to not.

Published in: on March 17, 2011 at 4:07 pm  Leave a Comment  

Flaunting their sinful lifestyle

So I’m reading some posts from a Jew who has claimed himself infallible when it comes to representing God’s view on homosexuality, apparently including how it should apply to marriage law. And when someone points out that eating pork is also a sin under his religion, and yet there is no major push to ban pork consumption. To explain the difference, he puts forth “how often do you hear about a pro-pork parade in your city?”

And so, to educate Moshe Starkman, allow me to present BaconFest Chicago. The Boston Bacon and Beer Festival. Iowa’s annual Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival. Oklahoma’s Baconalia. In Everett, they have a sausage fest like he wouldn’t believe, and the same is true in Alabama, in Texas, in Washington, and in Florida, which this coming weekend celebrates the 25th anniversary of the Beulah Sausage Fest. And yes, there’s a whole lot of public porkin’ going on, in Ohio, in Tennessee, in Illinois, in Virginia, inDiana…and for those who like to mix it up, Delaware’s Apple Scrapple Festival may be just the place for them!

And all that isn’t to mention the TV ads that directly promote taking part in such sinful pork consumption, put on by those pushing the Jimmy Dean agenda. I doubt we’ll ever see an ESPN ad for “Men: The Other White Meat (also available in other colors)”, but shots of some guy’s McRib dripping luscious fluid onto their pants are considered perfectly acceptable. The next time he sees a movie with a luau scene where some hot swine is tied naked to a pole with a red apple gag in his mouth, I hope Mr. Starkman will realize that these suckling pigs are not as in the closet as he would like to believe.

Published in: on March 14, 2011 at 11:08 pm  Leave a Comment  
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